Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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