she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
