did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
