Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
