Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize