Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
