Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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