I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
