But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
