okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
