its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
