On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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