i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I hate all girls vehemently.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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