If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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