Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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