Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
