I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
