The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
