BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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