I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
