just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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