Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
