I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
