i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
