My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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