Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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