God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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