We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
