After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
