It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
