My first STD was from a foam party
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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