brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
