His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
