someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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