When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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