i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
