Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
