Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
