I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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