What a fucking waste of an outfit
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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