Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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