I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
