its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
