Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
