As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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