why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
