I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
