I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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