On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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