Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
