She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
