Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
