dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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