Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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